sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
