Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
