just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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