why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My dick has a subreddit
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
