There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Drunk is not a location!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
