guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
bring money and cleavage
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
