There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
