batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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