Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
