That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
