You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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