It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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