just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
