I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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