Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
