Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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