watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
