We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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