Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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