We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
