I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
