you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
