He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
