I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
