Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
