I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
