Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
love makes seman taste better
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
