Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
This is the high leading the old right now
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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