I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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