This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
