like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
