you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
