Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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