shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
