He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
