So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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