He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize