Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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