Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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