Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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