What did we do last night that was yellow?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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