All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
