who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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