my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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