Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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