My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So much Jack, so little girl.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
