It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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