She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
