Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
