Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
