i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The beer is more important than you right now.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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