I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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