people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
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btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
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just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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