; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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