Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
