he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
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