how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
