I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
